As we all navigate this difficult and treacherous terrain that is called planet Earth, there are many things we encounter that cannot be avoided. One of the more difficult obstacles we grapple with is when we experience things such as the sting of betrayal. As we all know, betrayal is the breaking or violation of trust or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship. Betrayal can cause stress, sadness, confusion, mistrust, division, depression, anger, hatred and a host of other destructive emotions. And it may come from any direction. Even our family or friends. Of course this violation of trust is bad from any source but I think we can agree that it is particularly hurtful when committed by those who are supposed to be close to us. “For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.” (Psalm 55: 12-14)
Unfortunately, this is nothing new. Just ask Joseph about his brothers (Genesis 37: 12-36), or Samson about his wife (Judges 16: 4-6 & 16-21) or Jeremiah about his fellow countrymen (Jeremiah 12: 6). And though many have suffered, no one understands it more than our Lord Jesus who endured the pain of betrayal to an unimaginable degree. His own disciples betrayed Him as they deserted Him when trouble arose in the Garden of Gethsemane. Judas betrayed Him by delivering Him into the hands of His enemies after leading a violent mob to arrest Him. His close confidant Peter betrayed Him when He denied even knowing Him as He was being harshly examined by the High Priest and his cohorts. And His own people betrayed Him when they demanded that Pilate have Him executed, preferring that a murderer be released instead.
But while all of this was happening, He never failed to represent His Father in a most glorious fashion and serve as the ultimate example of righteousness to us all. And it is because of the agonizing experiences that the Lamb of God endured, He is able to sympathize as well as empathize with us during our seasons of grief and despair. “Seeing then that we have a great High Priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an High Priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.” (Hebrews 4: 14-15)
But this was a part of God’s plan from the beginning to rescue us from certain death by bruising His only begotten Son. Yet Jesus in his humanity learned something by the things He went through. “Though He were a Son, yet learned He obedience by the things which He suffered. ” (Hebrews 5: 8) And this resulted in a great advantage for us. “Wherefore in all things it behoved Him to be made like unto His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people. For in that He Himself hath suffered being tempted, He is able to succour them that are tempted.” (Hebrews 2: 17-18)
It is through that “learned obedience” that He was made a flawless and ideal advocate for each of us that trust in, rely on and show our love by obeying Him with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength. As Hebrews 5: 9 so beautifully states, “And being made perfect, He became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey Him.” So we realize that He is the only One that can truly help us when we go through the grief of betrayal or any other unfair treatment or crushing loss. What a blessing it is to have a loving God that we can always go to regardless of the situation. So, “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4: 16)
There is no doubt that some of the most challenging aspects of our spiritual life revolve around how well we cope with the effects of betrayal and other offenses. And it makes no difference whether it was purposeful or inadvertent. When the fallout from the fiery blast of these event impacts us, the effects can be devastating. The mental, emotional, psychological and even physical stress we feel is real. But as Children of God it’s not about what happens to us and who does it. It’s about what we do and when we do it.
So what should our response be to events that bring us such anguish and sadness? Well, listen to Jesus, the one of whom God said, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye Him” (Matthew 17: 5), His guidance was to “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you…” (Matthew 5: 44) In other words, forgive. Now I know that this may seem like a tall order, particularly when you are still reeling from what you feel is an unrighteous attack, but just remember that with God all things are possible and that you can do all things through Christ Who strengthens you. There is no obstacle too tough, no barrier too strong, no test too hard, no pain too severe, no faith too damaged, no tears too bitter and no heart too broken that Christ can’t handle.
And besides all of this, forgiveness is a necessary and required component of an intimate relationship with God. In the model prayer that Jesus taught us we are directed to forgive others. “… forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” (Matthew 6: 12) We don’t wait to forgive until after we’ve been forgiven. We forgive first, then ask for what you will. “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6: 14-15) With that in mind, “Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:” (Luke 6: 36-37)
The flesh may want to resist doing this but the Lord wants us to make the effort to persistently pursue an atmosphere of peace even in the midst of a war being waged against us. Now I know that everybody doesn’t want peace just because you do and they may not be interested in getting along. Still, the Lord wants us to have an attitude of non-confrontation and de-escalation. He just wants us to do our best at all times. “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12: 18) Just do your part, He’ll take care of the rest.
Think of it this way. Not only are you doing a good work towards someone else but you are actually doing yourself a tremendous favor. Forgiveness of others helps to keep us clean and undefiled. For example, does the presence of someone who has done you wrong or even the mere mention of their name just drive you crazy? That’s because carrying grudges, harboring hurt or embracing victimhood only serves to burden us further and causes us to suffer more under the load of a wounded spirit. Unforgiveness stains the soul, it pollutes the environment and it negatively affects and infects others. But God giveth more grace, He giveth more comfort and He giveth more strength.
I’m not saying that you will totally forget about whatever it is that has happened to you. And we certainly should use wisdom about putting ourselves in positions to be taken advantage of or abused. But if you find yourself there remember that God has called you to peace even in the midst of your storm. When you recall and appreciatively consider all of the wonderful things that the Lord has done for you, how He has provided for you, advised you, changed things for you, supported you, carried you and unconditionally loved you, it is difficult not to be encouraged in your spirit and joyful at the glory that both showers us and awaits us. As Jesus told that thief that hung on the cross next to Him, “Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with Me in paradise.” (Luke 23: 43)
When the disciple Stephen was being brutally beaten at the hands of a riotous mob, the Spirit of forgiveness within Him was able to look up towards heaven as his attackers were fulfilling their lust for blood upon him. And what he was allowed to see was too glorious for words. “But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up stedfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God, And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.” (Acts 7: 55-56) But still, in their madness they rained rocks down upon this beloved Saint who was “...calling upon God, and saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” (Acts 7: 59) And with his dying breath, he incredibly asked the Lord to forgive His assailants. “And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.” (Acts 7: 60)
Now hear this. These acts of aggression against Stephen were not perpetrated in a vacuum. Heaven was watching this entire episode. And you can believe that in like manner, your trials, your tribulations and your persecutions are not hidden. Your pain has not gone unnoticed. Your hurt and suffering have not escaped the divine detection of a caring Creator. God knows, God sees, God cares and God helps. “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121: 1-2) And He is very well-pleased when His children demonstrate love, not only to one another, but to everyone. Even when that “everyone” has evil intentions or is insensitive and thoughtless towards you. Forgiveness is giving up the right to hurt those who have hurt you.
And what Stephen did, he didn’t just come up with that response on his own. Jesus had already cleared the path for him and shown him the way. As you recall, when Jesus was crucified, He suffered intensely and voluntarily gave up His life to save us all. And as He hung on that cross bloodied and battered from the torture He had endured He said, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23: 34) As He was being humiliated, dishonored, degraded and treated like a common criminal, our Rock and our Redeemer taught us that forgiveness is a blessed act of divine love and an ultimate example of true holiness. Now how awesome is that!
We cannot escape the fact that this world hates us. But we must rise above the evil, oppressive ways of this world and stand firm in the liberty wherewith Christ has made us free. “But in all things approving ourselves as the ministers of God, in much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses, In stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labours, in watchings, in fastings; By pureness, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned, By the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armour of righteousness on the right hand and on the left, By honour and dishonour, by evil report and good report: as deceivers, and yet true; As unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and, behold, we live; as chastened, and not killed; As sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things.” (2 Corinthians 6: 4-10)
Jesus loves you. He feels you and He cares for you. He will always be with you through the most tumultuous and trying times of your life and will not fail to deliver you to a wealthy place. Remember the old hymn which encourages us to:
“Just ask the Savior to help you,
Comfort, strengthen, and keep you;
He is willing to aid you,
Jesus will carry you through.”
As God told the prophet Jeremiah, “Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for Me?” (Jeremiah 34: 27) I’ll answer that question. No Lord, nothing is too hard for You. We understand that we are still here because you have given us a mission to positively impact this earth in the wonderful name of Jesus. May the Spirit of love and forgiveness work in and through us all to assist those who are struggling with their passions, and by our words and actions guide them to Your throne of mercy, grace and peace.
“Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.” (Jude 1: 24-25)