Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines the word "friend" a"one attached to another by affection or esteem; one that is not hostile; one that is of the same nation, party, or group; one that favors or promotes something (such as a charity); a favored companion; a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry and opposes war."
The Bible distinctly teaches us that friend and friendship involve three components: association, loyalty and affection. There are also three levels of meaning:
Friendship as association only
Friendship as association plus loyalty
Friendship as association plus loyalty plus affection
A little background information on the word friend in Biblical terms: most of the Old Testament words translated "friend," "friendship," or "be friendly" come from two Hebrew roots, RH and HB. The most common terms for a friend are reeh, [h,[er] "friend," and oheb, [b;hoa], a participial form meaning "one who loves." In the New Testament, several words appear, including philos [fivlo"], "friend," hetairos [eJtai'ro"], "companion, comrade," and plesion [plhsivon], "neighbor, along with a variety of kinship terms such as "brother," "mother," or "child, extended to refer to people outside one's family for whom one feels special affection. The terms used most include philos [fivlo"], "friend, " and adelphos [ajdelfov"] / adelphe[ajdelfhv], "brother/sister, " the last of which becomes a technical term for a fellow believer.
The lowest level of a friend is simply an associate or "the other fellow" (Judges 7:13; Rom 15:2; James 4:12). In Jesus' parables, the vineyard owner addresses a laborer (Matt 20:13 ), and the host speaks to a wedding guest he does not know (Matt 22:12) using the term "comrade." Jesus addresses Judas in this way in the garden: "Friend, do what you came for" (Matt 26:50).
At a higher and theologically more interesting level, the idea of friendship contains not only the component of association but also that of loyalty. The "king's friend" (2 Sam 15:37; 16:16; 1 Kings 4:5; 1 Chron 27:33) Hiram of Tyre's "friendship" with David (1 Kings 5:1) is a political alliance that may have little to do with affection but everything to do with treaty obligations. The "friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Prov 18:24) shows loyalty. When the Jews accuse Pilate of not being "a friend of Caesar" (John 19:12), they question his loyalty to the emperor.
The highest level of friendship contains the components of association and loyalty along with affection. The friendship of David and Jonathan (1 Sam 18:1-4; 20:14-17) has all three components, as does the friendship between Paul and the Philippian church (see e.g., Philippians 4:1, Philippians 4:15-20 ). According to Scripture, there are three possible objects of friendship: another person, God and His Son, or someone else who follows Jesus.
The first involves human friendship based simply on common humanity with all the joys and dangers. Human friendship brings help in times of trouble (Prov 17:17; 27:10; Luke 11:5-8) and advice in perplexing situations (Prov 27:9). A friend may provide consolation in trouble, as when Barzillai the Gileadite consoles the hunted David (Sam 19:31-39), or when the friends of Jephthah's daughter help her mourn her early death (Judges 11:37-38 ). A friend may offer help at the risk of death, as Hushai the Arkite does when he spies for David in the court of Absalom the usurper (2 Sam 15:32-37; 16:16-19; 17:5-16). A friend may rebuke in love, proving more faithful than a flatterer (Prov 27:6). Ecclesiastes develops the theme of friendship in the "two are better than one" passage (4:9-12).
One of the most excellent biblical examples of the "friend who sticks closer than a brother" is the relationship between David and Jonathan. Jonathan's loyalty to David runs more profound than his loyalty to his own father Saul or his ambitions (1 Sam 18:1-4; 20:14-17). When he hears of Jonathan's death, the dirge David sings marks their relationship as a high point of human friendship (2 Sam 1:17-27). Ruth's stubborn loyalty to her mother-in-law Naomi stands as another display of human friendship at its highest. In the New Testament, Paul shows a talent for gaining friends. In his letters, he names many people as his special friends in Christ. In the Book of Acts, Paul's friends include even the pagan officials of Asia known as Asiarchs (Acts 19:31).
While friendship on the human level has its joys and consolations, it also has its dangers. Sometimes a friend can fail to dissuade one from evil actions, as Judah's friend Hirah the Adullamite does when he helps Judah make arrangements with a supposed prostitute (Gen 38:12-23). A friend can lead one into sin, as when Jonadab, son of Shimeah, persuades his cousin Amnon to rape his half-sister Tamar (2 Sam 13:1-6). A friend can even lead one to worship other gods (Deut13:6-11). Proverbs contains warnings about the dangers of bad company (1:10-19; 4:14-19).
Even if a friend does not lead one astray, the friend may cause grief through misunderstanding. Although they try to be his friends, Job's three comforters only make his suffering worse (Job 2:11-13; 6:14-27; 19:21-22; 42:7-9). Friends may prove false, pretending affection and loyalty from ulterior motives (Psalm 55:12-14; Prov 14:20; Proverbs 19:4, Proverbs 19:6-7 ). A friend may put one into debt by asking security for a loan (Prov 6:1-5; 11:15; 17:18; 22:26-27). Friendship can break down through gossip (Prov 16:28) or holding grudges (Prov 17:9). Friends may abandon one in trouble (Psalm 38:11; cf. Eccl 9:10). The disappearance of true loyalty to friends is one of the social and moral breakdown symptoms addressed by the prophet Micah in eighth-century Judah (Mic 7:5-6).
Abraham gains the title "friend of God" by his faith and obedience (2 Chron 20:7; Isa 41:8; James 2:23). Those who keep God's covenant are called his friends (Psalm 25:1 ). By contrast, one can be a friend of the world, which excludes the possibility of friendship with God (James 4:4; 1 John 2:15). Many show they are friends of God by becoming friends of Jesus. His open acceptance during his ministry of all kinds of people displays not simply a tendency toward human friendship but portrays the possibility of divine-human loyalty and affection. The "disciple Jesus loved" (John 19:26; 20:2; 21:7) enjoys more than a human relationship with Jesus. Their friendship is more spiritual than social, as no doubt Jesus' friendship with Lazarus was (John 11:3-5 John 11:36). Jesus shows this kind of divine-human friendship by addressing his disciples as friends (Luke 12:4), by letting them know the inner meaning of his life and ministry (John 15:15), and, most clearly, by dying on the cross as the sacrifice for sin (John 15:13). When Jesus tells His disciples, "You are my friends if you do what I command" (John 15:1), the components of association, loyalty, and affection all appear. If one can be a friend of God, this friendship can extend to others who are also friends of God.
Christian friendship finds its basis in the fellowship between each believer and God. When John refers to fellow believers simply as "the friends" (3 John 14), he implies the loyalty and affection for one another that spring from loyalty and love for God. Seven times in 1 John, the writer addresses his readers as "dear children," using the language of family to express this deep affection (1 John 2:1 1 John 2:12 1 John 2:28; 1 John 3:7 1 John 3:18; 4:4; 5:21). Paul expresses this loyal and affectionate relationship when he refers to or addresses several individuals with the language of family love. He speaks to Timothy and Titus as his true children (1 Tim 1:2; Titus 1:4) and to Timothy as his "dear son" (2 Tim 1:2). Onesimus is not only Paul's "son" but his "very heart" (Philem. 10, 12). An unnamed woman in the Roman church is mother literally to a Christian named Rufus and figuratively to Paul (Rom 16:13).
The New Testament shows a certain "in-group" mentality by distinguishing between members of the household of faith and outsiders (Gal 6:10). But the writers never press this distinction, and they often make the point that Christian friendship should not appear only within Christian circles. While Paul, for example, encourages particular concern for believers, he does so in connection with encouragement to "do good to all." Jesus encourages his followers to invite needy strangers, not friends, to their tables (Luke 14:12-14). In the Good Samaritan parable, he extends the concept of neighbor to include anyone in need (Luke 10:25-37).
The Bible makes this clear, and that is, only God has the desire and will to be genuinely called a friend. Anything or anyone is impossible without the intervention of God. Our friendship for one another is through Christ Jesus and not of our own will. It is through Christ that we can follow and obey Him. And, like a great friend He is when we mess up, He is there to correct us, instruct us, forgive us, forget about it as far as the east to the west, and most importantly, still be our friend walking and sharing with us. Oh, wow, what a Friend.
John 10:11-16 is one of my favorite Scriptures in the Bible:
11 "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.
12 But a [b]hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them.
13 The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep.
14 I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own.
15 As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.
16 And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they will hear My voice; and there will be one flock and one shepherd.
We are defenseless and always in danger while in this world like sheep who are always in danger and must be under the watchful eye of the shepherd as they graze. To protect them from heavy rains that can sweep them away, robbers who will steal them, and wolves that will attack them, a good shepherd sometimes puts his life in danger to protect their sheep. But our almighty shepherd is always watching, never needing rest, never needing a wage increase, and who will never leave us to save his own life. Look at it this way; we are His life! He laid down his life to save all of us and give us a chance to reconcile with the Father. He did not do it just for the Jews who were already in the fold but for the other sheep who were not in the fold (you and I). Jesus came to serve and not be served like every other king. Jesus came to give His life as a ransom to bring other sheep into the fold. Jesus made salvation possible for all who come to Him in faith.
Thank you, Jesus, for being the only true friend we will ever need.